I’m going to try this for a while. I’ve started a few blogs in the past, personal websites, alternative sites like Blogger, etc., but it always seems awkward to me. Writing down personal ramblings, for someone else to maybe stumble upon this and read. What are the advantages, who gains from this…
I’ve been on one hell of a roller-coaster ride over the last 7 days. I just ended a 5+ year relationship with my fiance. Prior to the termination of our relationship, I felt it was the right decision to make. I felt distant, and as if the relationship was only benefiting one person, without real growth. I was naive in thinking it wasn’t going to hurt as much as it did to end.
I’ve lost 18 lbs over the last 7 days due to lack of appetite, sleep, stress and random panic attacks after I broke up with her. I struggle to go a day yet without constant thought of her. Anything can set off memories, it’s particularly difficult now being fall; her favorite season.
Though there are times I feel more free, times I think to myself…yeah this was right. I feel there are more opportunities for me to grow and mature more as a person, see more things on my own…explore. Getting married would have only inhibited this.
More time will be needed to see if this decision was the right one in the long run. Now, I am trying to focus as much as I can on developing a stronger foundation for self. Getting out of debt, losing weight and educating myself.
More updates to come when progress has been made.
~Michael
